Joey's Saturday Night

June 30th, 1985

  What a night! Damn, I've got such a fucking hangover. We went into town yesterday and by the end of the night there was so much porking going on I thought we were on a farm! Yesterday started boring as hell because there's nothing to do in that shitville. No mall and no arcade, nothing. I scored some bud from Rudy's friend Nick and then me and Amber got stoned. Everybody had some, even Zagnuts toked! What a dweebo. I don't know how much he's smoked before, but he couldn't handle it. We went to lunch and I thought he was going to eat everything on the menu. What a fat fuck! Anyway, me and Amber snuck off behind the diner and bopped against this dumpster. Tyrone caught us and said we needed to find a better place because the town's full of crazy-ass crackers. But he wasn't mad. We went back to the bus and fucked some more. Then the craziest thing happened, Brenda and Matt the driver snuck into the bus, too, and started boinking! They didn't see us, at first, because we were way in the back. But we got so turned on watching them that we started doing it again and they saw us. But they didn't stop and neither did we! We all just watched each other. It was awesome!
  By the end of the night, we were all at some redneck bar that Matt took us to. It was so rad because they sold us beer. Gnarly! I got wasted and couldn't find Amber, at first. Then I saw her sneak off with Matt. That's cool. I've got my eyes on Brenda, now that she knows how I fuck. The bar got bodacious and rowdy. A damn good time until Zagnuts threw up on the band! I laughed my ass off and then we all had to split when the rednecks started chasing us out!
  The hangover's bad, but the night was bad-to-the-bone!