Sunday, June 28, 2015

Zagnuts Preys

June 28th, 1985

  God, I HATE running! Today’s duties list Dave put out had me reffing the Capture the Flag game. I told him I couldn’t do it, and when he asked me why I said ‘cause I’m 250 pounds and hypoglycemic -- that’s why! He told me my parents never notified him about anything, and I guess he had a point there. Still -- he can’t rely on my self-diagnosis? What a dick! It was the worst damn thirty minutes of my life. Everyone got all mad at me ‘cause I couldn’t keep up with the action on the field, and I finally got so frustrated that I walked away and handed the score sheet to some kid camper that just happened to be spectating so that now he could ref. “Come back here, Zag Ass!” They kept saying. It was humiliating. But I didn’t pay em’ no mind. I had bigger fish to fry.
  I’ve nailed a couple prospects for my little summer project. Well, not nailed them -- but you know what I mean. There’s that Brenda chick who I hear’s a real loose skirt. Walt the Maintenance Guy says he’s seen her early in the morning run out to the shower room in just her bra and panties. No robe or anything! She’ll probably go if given the right prompting. Then there’s this other councilor, Sam. Real sweet smile, great laugh, and a totally pork-able body. She seems to hang around Rudy the lifeguard a lot, but I don’t think they do anything. Plus I heard she made out with one of the campers the other day by the lake; she’s gotta be desperate for some pole! I noticed she’s joined that bible study Ike Hollis -- one of my campers -- has set up in the Mess Hall after dinner, so she fits my Jesus Freak criteria. I enlisted him this morning before the Capture the Flag game to find out a little bit more about her situation -- like what she prays for and shit. He said it wouldn’t be ethical, but I also let him know I could pull some strings and get him on KP for the rest of the summer. He said he’d see what he could do. I hope it's today because it's the weekend and we've got our town trip tomorrow.  Zagnuts is gonna hit sackville! Only thing that sucks is that this Sam chick has the same name as my brother, so that may be a little weird. But I won’t let it stop me.

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